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One Year Difference

So much can change in year, yet remain the same. Updating this blog was long overdue. I have lost a significant amount of weight, my relationship with God has become much stronger, I stepped down f…

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One Year Difference

So much can change in year, yet remain the same. Updating this blog was long overdue. I have lost a significant amount of weight, my relationship with God has become much stronger, I stepped down from a supervisory position, and remain single.

Let’s start with the weight loss. Over the course of a year, I embarked on a healthier lifestyle, and lost approximately 25 lbs. I would like to lose more, but I’m being patient with the process. I feel closer to my lord and Savior Jesus Christ than ever before, and made a major career move by stepping away from management. It was the best decision for me because truthfully, my talents could be utilized more efficiently in a company that is open to change.

I’m still single, no prospect in sight. This isn’t a pity party, just straight forward facts. Something has changed with that though. Maybe it’s changed with me and my outlook. A few weeks ago, my mom sent me a text asking me to identify seven things I want in a mate so she could put it up in prayer. I boldly refused. It’s not that I doubt God, but I came to the conclusion that at this point in my life, of being almost 35, if it’s going to happen God knows exactly what I need. I’m done talking about it, crying about it, and to be honest, praying about it. There’s some desires that you have to give to God, and say thy will be done.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. I choose to focus on my strengths, and give my weaknesses to the one who can change them-my God.

Updated pics coming soon!!

Made A Deal With Self

Made A Deal With Self.

Made A Deal With Self

So today I did something major. Something I haven’t done in the past two years. I avoided it out of fear. I didn’t want to face the truth. Facing the truth meant I had to be totally accountable for where it was currently.

*deep breath*

I got my fat ass on the scale, and I could not believe how much I weighed. I assumed I was 15lbs lighter than I was. All kinds of emotions went through me, but overall I felt relief. Relieved because I faced something I ran from for a long time. I knew what this meant. I knew that once I faced it, there was no turning back.

I was already going hard in the gym. I had to due to fact that I was screwed over by a so called personal trainer-I use the term lightly, to the tune of 250.00!!! And since I’m petty like that, I needed to prove to myself that even though my money was taken I could still lose weight, and train myself even better.

K, back to the subject. After looking at the scale, I decided to make a deal with myself. Now this may seem silly and trivial to some, but here goes….

I decided I would not drive my Lexus until I lost 15 lbs. This is major for me because it’s my new dream car. I admired it for a long time before I took the plunge to purchase. Everyone knows what it’s like when you get something new. You want to break it in. I believe this will be motivation to work hard to drop those 15lbs. I hope I’ll only be without my baby for a month but I guess we’ll see.

For now, I’ll be with my good ole faithful Nissan Altima. Black Sheba is my baby. She been there through thick and thin. She been through about three boyfriends and two jobs. We’ve been to too many states to count. We’ve been together the last seven years.

You will hear her brakes before you see her, but she still all good. We still all good. That janky trainer still all good. As my Mama say, God don’t like ugly.

Side note- don’t you hate when people pose next to their luxury cars on social media. I think that’s the most ghetto crap I’ve ever seen. It’s like, let me show the world I’m riding foreign. I despise show offs.

-Trin

Sister

The love of a sister is a unique love. It’s a love that carries a bond so strong, that the forces of darkness could not break. The love of a sister is a blessing from God. Many people search high and low to experience that bond.

The thing about this bond is it can only be organic. Don’t get me wrong. There’s plenty of friends that have bonds like sisters, but I don’t believe it’s the same. Your sister can feel what you are feeling. She literally experiences sadness, happiness, and joy with you. She’s that constant companion that becomes your secret keeper, your motivator, and most loving critic.

A sister can give it to you straight with no chaser, and although you may initially be angry, you know in the back of your head she loves you. She loves you enough to tell you the truth.

The truth about you. The truth about her. The truth about life.

There’s no search to be accepted when you have a sister.

Wynter and LaDonna, I’ll be forever grateful God gave me you.

Sincerely.

Your baby sister

Pushed Towards Your Gift

Pushed Towards Your Gift.

Pushed Towards Your Gift

Pushed Towards Your Gift.

Pushed Towards Your Gift

Hello, my name is Trinity and I would like to welcome you to our family group….

This is the script I start off with every Saturday when I am conducting family group at my part time job. I work at a substance abuse program every weekend, and I have been the primary facilitator of this particular group for the past three years.

Every Saturday morning I sacrifice sleeping in to provide my gift to a population I never cared for or desired to work with. It’s strange how the things that bring you the most pain cultivate the gift you have to give back to the world.

To be honest, I still can’t figure out how I began to work with individuals I swore I would never work with. To understand why I would never work with them, let me take you back to January 21, 1982.

That’s the day I was born. That’s the day I entered this world and was placed in the arms of a loving mother and an absent father. I never had the experience of knowing what a father was as a child. This was due to addiction. You see, addiction robbed me of my sense of identity, sense of security, and self worth as a child. I grew up with an innate feeling of being flawed because I did not have a father. I never had an example of a positive male figure in my life, which led to poor decision making when picking relationship partners, and a relentless drive to work as hard as I can to ensure I had a security blanket so I would never feel like I was going without. In essence, I became a workaholic. I was addicted to making money. Addicted to making sure I would never have to depend on another soul for my wellbeing. This definitely came at a price. A price of missing many milestones my counterparts had the luxury of experiencing.

Every Saturday, I pour out my soul to these families. In a sense, I believe helping family members who have had similar experiences as me is a way to not only heal them, but heal myself. To give them hope and let them know they are not alone. Hope to know that regardless of how you begin, all that matters is how you finish. At 1:30 every Saturday, I give them the real me. Not Trinity the Therapist. Trinity, the daughter of an addict who keeps pushing against all odds.

What these families don’t know is, I cry when I leave group. They don’t know that as I walk out of group I thank God for allowing me to bless them. They don’t know that when I look in the disappointed eyes of their children, I see myself. They don’t know that I revisit the pain of my childhood every Saturday at 1:30pm.

Another thing these families don’t know is I dread waking up early every Saturday. They don’t know there’s times I can think of a million places I would rather be. They don’t know that up until 1:29 I don’t want to do it. They don’t know that I want to block out the pain.

But that still small voice whispers in my earTrinity you have work to do. Allow me to heal them.

The trials of life are inevitable. Those same trials can be a blessing to others. Maybe that’s the whole point.

It’s strange how life works.

Big Thigh Problems

Big Thigh Problems.

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